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            The Ex-Files
            Jane Moore
            fiction, chicklit, romance
            Reviewed by: Carrie Byrd
            Review posted: 7/9/04/04

            Take one soon to be married couple, invite their exes to the wedding. Stir. It seems like it should be a good idea. Funny. Witty. Rife with wacky hijinks. Yeeeah…not so much.

            I was looking forward to this book. As a self-proclaimed fan of romance, why would I not? And really, I’m a huge fan of wacky hijinks. I try to have as many of them was possible myself. Thus, the wacky pink cover appealed to me instantly. And this is where the whole “don’t just a book by its cover thing” really bit me in the butt. Sometimes it works. You know, cover art can say a lot about the contents. I feel that as an avid reader, covers can be telling. In this case, the cover is telling a lie. There is no wacky! There is only lame.

            So, the book opens with snotty, spoiled Faye – the bride – about to engage in some serious flinging the weekend before she gets married. She gets naked, gets sweaty gets…well, let’s keep this PG, shall we (I wish the author had!)? And then she comes to her senses, interrupts the whole thing at the last possible second and that’s the end of it, right? Except her would be fling turns out to be the groom’s brother. Wacky! Or not, because you know it’s coming. The book is called the Ex-Files, folks. The flingee is sort of an ex. If you didn’t see it coming, you weren’t paying attention. And on a side note, how is it that her fiancé never showed the bride to be a picture of his brother, who he worships?

            So then, it’s time for the wedding and instead of wedding bells ringing - anvils are ringing. It’s a veritable “Chorus of Anvils,” y’all. Moore is dropping hints left and right and dodging is out of the question. Faye’s mother isn’t sure about the wedding. Mark’s (the groom) parents aren’t sure about. His best friend has his doubts. Her best friend has his (gay – oooh edgy!) doubts. The brother (Tony) has his doubts. The exes (Kate, Jenna, Nat, and Rich) all have their doubts. Let me clarify – everyone thinks this is a bad idea. In case you missed it the other fifty million times it was mentioned – the wedding – it’s a bad idea. And the whole book is like this. I could give more examples, but that might spoil the ending (unlike all the places where Moore points out (Gee, wouldn’t it be nice if Mark was still with Kate? Mark would be good with Kate. Don’t you wish Mark and Kate hadn’t broken up?) exactly what is going to (Faye needs someone strong like Tony. Wouldn’t Faye be better with a strong man, like Tony? I think Faye needs a strong man like you, Tony) happen). I’m. not. kidding. Hope I didn’t spoil the story for you.

            So in conclusion, it was the best book ever and you should all read it. No, really. No, really.

            .................

            I have to go now, before the sarcasm police come and get me for abusing the privilege.